I think in all of my childhood years my family had a total of three dogs. Taffy, who was a little Pomeranian that was well on the family scene before I was born. Then there was Dusty. A scary, skinny, mid-sized dog that we only kept a few months before giving it away to one of my father’s co-workers. And then there was Scooter! By far my family’s favorite. He made the trip across country with us when we moved and was a pretty stable family fixture for well over a decade. He was a very playful, and vibrant dog that had a coat so gold that he looked like royalty. He was primarily my younger sister’s responsibility and she looked after him like he was her best friend. And even though I liked the dog I was never really attached the way that she was.  And really one of the main things that I liked about him was that he was a big, aggressively playful, dog that stayed outside. Being outside gave the me comfort of being done with him whenever I wanted. I would just throw the tennis ball into the yard and run in the house! Classic Doggy ditch move. It wasn’t until much later that I came to notice the foreign concept of house dogs and how much girls are really into them. What’s the deal with that?!!

It seemed like for a while every girl in my age group started to snatch up dogs like they were the newest accessory. They became part of a lady’s polish when she was going out to run errands on Saturday. Cute Earrings..Check! Lip Gloss…Check! Trendy shoes….Check! Annoying little dog that I carry in a mini-suitcase that some guys mistake for a rat..Check! Ladies can sometimes hold on to the dogs like they are newborn children. I have seen them pamper the dogs with all the sorts of lavish lifestyle upgrades that women like to treat themselves too. I have seen dogs with dyed hair, jewelry, painted nails, customized beds (if they didn’t have a pillow in her bed), bi-monthly hair appointments and even an assorted wardrobe for special occasions! And here I am thinking that dogs are just outside animals that you play with at your leisure. Now I would be lying if I said that I didn’t know some guys that were really attached to their dogs. The term man’s best friend is indeed applicable to a lot of men. But the whole companionship thing that you get from dogs does not seem to replace, for men, the sort of companionship that we get from the opposite sex. Guys aren’t going to pass up night out with a lady because they don’t have anyone to feed the dog. Guys aren’t going to not have a lady over because he refuses to put his dog away. Guys aren’t going to skip a trip out-of-town with a woman because he noticed that his dog has been sneezing. Honestly…guys like their dogs but they love their ladies…. And I have to admit to some guys actually being jealous of the little four-legged competition.

But what is it about women that makes them so readily willing to ditch us for a smelly, noisy, unable to use in-door plumbing, furry little beast?! Maybe it’s a metaphor for all of the things that women wish that men would be more of. Willing to let them dress us up…? Comfortable with sitting around on the couch watching chick flicks…? Loyal and unwavering in love and devotion? Unable to see the fluctuating weight or bad hair days? (Ouch…..) Maybe women are on to something with these dogs. And maybe when they call us dogs it’s and shot at irony for  some of the ways they wish we would be. Fellas, I think we better step it up a bit before these mutts run us out of business.