I love my mom.  As I think everyone should.  She taught me about how to read.  She taught me how to be polite.  She taught me how to keep my cool in church, how to say yes ma’am and how to not allow my Louisiana upbringing to define my diction.  (As a onetime English teacher there was no overbearing southern drawl allowed in my speech) She taught me to be frugal with my money.  Mainly because I thought she had insane spending habits.  She taught me how to act around ladies, but mainly she has molded what I value in women and set a standard that it is really hard to break away from.  And in many ways it’s not something that I want to break away from.  But one thing that she absolutely didn’t do was coddle me.  There was no sitting on my mother’s lap when I was 10.  She didn’t spend time stroking my ego when I was 12 and girls started calling the house.  She never told stupid stories to people about how her son was going to be a “little heartbreaker.”  There was no debating or negotiating after she told me no for something.  That’s just what it was.  And no amount of me smiling, whining or begging was going to change that.  And she definitely didn’t discourage me from going over 2700 miles away when I was selecting a college for fear of some sort of separation anxiety.  As a matter of fact she not only encouraged it, she helped me pack!  She didn’t even offer to take me to school and register for classes.  And that was cool with me.  It encouraged me to do my own thing and that is what I did.  My mother had a life.  I was a huge part of it but not all that she had.  So I suppose I am just saying all this to make the point that I have never ever been a proverbial momma’s boy.

I see cats that don’t make a move without their mother’s approval.  Not me.  As a matter of fact on the occasions that my mother does try to get a little too involved I reject it.  Vociferously!  (My mommy taught me that word by the way)  So it’s really an unnecessary thing when women try to present themselves to my mother as some sort of way to advance their positioning in my life.  Stop trying to get to know my mother!  I’ve had women make small talk to my mother over the phone when I still lived at home.  I’ve had women try to seek out my mother at professional conferences.  I have had them try to give my mother Christmas/Anniversary cards.  Introduce themselves at the grocery store where “they just happen to be at the same time.”    Interview for jobs that my mother is offering.  Show up at a reception in her honor and sign the guest book.  Even walk up to her at the gym and partner with her at Aerobics class.  Really?!  Knock it off!  The most insane thing is that I have only introduced my mother to a handful of women ever in my life and none of those women were part of any of these examples that I just gave.  So in essence my mother was bombarded by complete strangers who in all of those instances let her know that they were somehow involved with me…….Jesus please help me.  Better yet…help them.  Help them to understand that I am the only one that they need to make an impression on.  I am on the only one making decisions about whom I spend the rest of my life with.  I am the only one who needs to feel content with her inner and outer beauty.  I am the only one who needs to be satisfied with your level of morality.  I am the only one who needs to be shown that you have the desired qualities that I would like to see in the mother of my children.  So don’t go changing your hair, reading your resume or talking about your family plans with anyone but me.  And especially not my mother!

Jackson.Bracey@gmail.com

@jacksonbracey

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