I have just become complimentary of the people around me post 26-27.  And I never could really narrow down why I was so late to be expressive about something that someone around me is excelling at or excited about.  Was I quietly a closeted hater?  I don’t think so.  I have always felt really good about me so I have never really held a grudge against someone else’s success, appearance or possessions.  On the other hand I have always been somewhat competitive and maybe my inner desire to out do someone else’s claim to importance is a little bit like me hating…..hmmmm.  Never the less I would imagine that I would have at least fallen into the pattern of saying complimentary things to the people I’m around.  Especially with me being raised as somewhat of a young southern gentleman.  I mean after all.  What’s the point of saying that you are from the south if you can’t open up doors and tell a woman how nice she looks?  But I think that the main reason that I have never really gotten too much into the habit of that, is the root of one of my personal pet peeves.  I hate silly ass people who are always fishing for compliments!

Now I have taught, tutored and mentored enough 14-18 year old girls in my life to know that self-esteem issues are real.  They are draining, debilitating, enfeebling and any other 3 + syllable SAT word that you could think of to capture the stress that young girls go through when battling to build strong sense of self-confidence.  But I admittedly do not have the same sort of compassion with women between the ages of 25-30.  If you have spent 3-4 hours taking a shower, washing your hair,doing your hair, picking out your clothes, trying on your clothes, making accessory changes, waxing your body, shaving your legs, putting on make up, arching your eyebrows, sampling your perfumes, standing in front of the fan so you can see how you look when the wind blows, gauging your with or without jacket appearance, trying on as many different shoes that can possibly match, calling your girlfriend to ask what she is wearing so you don’t clash, taking a sip of the sauce to see if you still look cute tipsy,  painting your nails, redoing the eye make up that you just put on because it doesn’t look smoky enough, tweezing that absolutely disgusting single nose hair that always seems to stand out in pictures,  practicing your smile for the guaranteed forthcoming nightlife pictures……..then I do not want you to walk up to me right before we walk in say,”Do I look OK?”  You know damn well you look OK!!  You know how I know you know you look OK?  It’s because of these things that we have called mirrors.  And trust me sweets.  You have looked into one more than a few times tonight.  You looked at yourself in the bathroom mirror, the mirror over your dresser, the full length mirror on the back of your door, the rearview mirror in your car as you drove over to your girls house to look at yourself in her mirror, and finally the reflection that you kept glancing at on the storefront windows as you walked up to the venue.  I can’t take it!  You know you look good!  And I don’t want to be entirely insensitive because grown ups can have self-image issues and insecurities too.  But when you ask me how you look and I make a suggestion or say anything other that “great” and you give me the stank face like I just cursed your grandmother, I’m left feeling like WTH!  Did you want me to tell you what I really thought or just affirm what you already thought of yourself?  At which point you really didn’t need me to tell you that in the first place.  Stop it damnit!  You’re hot, you know it and you are clearly fishing!

 

So my way to avoid being annoyed by the fishing is by doing something that I should have probably been doing to begin with.  I figure that if I just tell you that you look hot before you ask, it’ll save you from baiting that hook and casting that line out that I’m not even gonna bite.

Jackson.bracey@gmail.com

@jacksonbracey

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