Money Makes the World go Round. Romance Without Finance Has No Chance. Ain’t Nothin’ Goin on but the Rent! We’ve all heard these different sayings and quotes that fit into the very fabric of our capitalistic lifestyles. Cause let’s face it. In this country, money is important. Cars cost money. Housing costs money. McDonald’s just went up on Happy Meals and Metro just raised their fares again! So I don’t want anyone to tell me that money isn’t important. But just how important is what people debate over. It’s almost as if the more important the money becomes to you the more you are chastised for it…..but only by the group of people who don’t have that amount of money……Interesting.
You will never hear a rich man call a woman A gold-digger. That’s like hearing TD Jakes say, “Church……We are going to skip the collection plate this week”. It’s just not gonna happen. And the reason why is because the term gold-digger was probably created by a man who didn’t have enough money to meet a woman’s expectations. Her desires for what she saw as her worth. Now the fact that a woman could put a monetary value on her worth is indeed quite troubling but that is a different point for later. I am sticking with the hypocrisy in guys throwing around the gold-digger term to make up for their light pockets. If you want to call a woman a gold-digger or an opportunist because she makes money the most important part of her criteria when dating a man then I get that. But if you are just mad cause she won’t go out with your broke ass then that sounds a lot like hatin to me. Especially, when if the shoe were on the other foot, as a guy, you would do the same thing. I know a whole lot of guys who would looooove to go out with Oprah! I bet Madonna, with all of her mannequin plastic surgery features, at 50 could get a date with any man just like that!(snap). I have a buddy who openly talks about his attraction to Martha Stewart…….(C’mon man….seriously?) And I highly doubt that he gets turned on by the mere look of her saggy breasts or flabby ass so I am going to take a wild guess and say…………Must be the Money!
Now from my perspective, being attracted to money seems like a natural thing. When you live in a capitalistic society you learn very early about the importance of money and the value in what it brings. We are trained to think that big houses, fancy cars and tacky jewelry are the measure of success. And only this type of success can bring ultimate American happiness. So when a woman or man pursues situations where they will partner up with someone who has more cake than Duncan Hines, it almost seems like the American Way. The Victoria Newman way. The Whitley Gilbert way. The Anna Nicole Smith way. It’s weird because for every woman who desires money from a man there is a man who likes to give it to a woman. These idiots in these rap records who talk about whining and dining women brag about what they are giving them. They aren’t ashamed! They give it and let other people know what they are giving. Like that shit is cooler than ice cream in December on Antarctica! Stacks on Deck, Patron on Ice, we can pop bottles all night baby you can have whatever you like! I wonder if rappers talked like that when they were broke? (They were probably too busy calling women gold-digging bitches) I wonder if any man talks like that when he is broke? In as simple of terms as I can say it…..YES. If you are working with a big budget, then you spend big money. If you are working with a little budget, you are spending less money…but you are still spending. Let’s compare TI to Jackson…………shall we?
Jackson spends money on gas for your car. TI spends money on NEW CARS.
Jackson spends money on a manicure. TI spends money on $5000 weaves, botox, boob jobs, butt implants, etc..
Jackson pays for dinner. TI pays G. Garvin to shut down the restaurant and prepare a special cuisine.
Jackson buys a diamond bracelet for and anniversary gift. TI sends a woman to Tiffany & Co. with a Black Amex!
So it’s all relative to what you are working with. I think my point is that guys, whether they make 30k or 300k all like to give money to their lady to serve her superficial desires. It some how makes him feel needed or valued. Even if it is for something as shallow as his money. So through his generosity he is contributing to the thought process that he complains about. The rub comes when her desires surpass his budget.
I would never fix my mouth to say that there is no such thing as a gold-digger. Because there are. I have known a fair amount of women who immediately ask what a man does before entertaining his advances. And when involved in relationships they are in love with the money and trying to learn to love the man. That is my definition of a gold digger. But in the case where women value money as just a necessity in a relationship that coincides with trust, honesty and fidelity then I don’t call that being a gold-digger. I consider that to just be a woman whose values don’t line up with my own. And as long as we can respectfully disagree with that, I have no problem with her at all. (Now if she calls me a broke ass because I drive a Toyota then we might have a problem!) And the label itself is not singularly exclusive to women. No man would turn down an opportunity to be with a woman who has more money than Snookie has Hair-Spray! How about we talk about doing things the Kevin Federline way…The Al Reynolds way…The John McCain way….the American way! Men and women both throw the term around a lot. So much that it is simply at this point being over used. And if you can look at it from 30k foot level, you will see that you have at one time or another contributed to the “gold-digging” ways of the women that we are all so critical of. And if the opportunity was presented, you may be willing to take a ride on that hot, widowed, cougar rollercoaster to see where it leads. Just a thought! I certainly have just tried to break myself from tossing around that term like I’m not guilty of paying for over the top dinners or filling up gas tanks because I thought it made me look cool. And as many times as I have gone into fantasy mode about how my life would be different if I dated Oprah……….man! I just better lay off that gold-digger talk.
Disclaimer…..This message is provided strictly to add perspective and thought provoking conversation to the unfortunate name calling and mudslinging that has been taken out of context as promoted and exploited by pop culture. This message is in no way meant to be used as a justification for sack-chasers, hoodrats, bloodsuckers, widow chasers, boppers or wanna be socialites as any sort of approval of less than respectable behavior.
I am Jackson Bracey and I approve this message.