So I saw this video yesterday on NecoleBitchie.Com and I noticed that it had more comments than any other post that she had for the day so I was immediately intrigued to see what all of the fuss was about. NecoleBitchie usually does a lot of celebrity news/gossip so for her to upload a random You Tube video, it must be pretty entertaining. So as I started to watch I was almost dying with laughter at the comments that Mr. Jerry LaVigne Jr made. He was very thoughtful in his commentary and quite hilarious with his delivery. He spoke pretty extensively about why he is a strong advocate against marriage. Now immediately when people hear such a statement they start to rage against it. And he addresses that in his post when he say’s that marriage is just a tradition that people are used to following. And in a lot of ways people are slaves to such thinking. Like I don’t know why we still teach kids cursive writing in school. My mother still tries to convince me that writing out checks is the way to go even though I have a more efficient system of on-line bill-pay. And why in the world do we send early to rise pre-schoolers to school at 9 and the slow-to-rise teenagers to school at 7:30 despite what research tells is contrary to their major focusing hours.

But every tradition is not a completely misguided, outdated, out of touch societal construct. Marriage has been the back bone of our world for thousands of years. And people weren’t just doing it to get dressed up in a white dress and play “Cinderella” for a day. Although I can see where the woman centered design of marriage today may make it seem that way. So let’s break down some reasons why marriage is STILL valuable.

Where do you think you are going?–  Now Jerry clearly looks at Marriage as something that you should be able to get out of as easily as you get in and that the “legal contractual” component of marriage prevents that……………….  Uhhh……., yeah Jerry.  That’s the point!  People are emotional, irascible, impulsive and can get carried away at the slightest sign of discourse.  The legal and spiritual commitment that you make is intended to get people to think things out from a mature perspective.  No you can’t leave because your lady screamed on you for coming in late.  And no you can’t leave her because she wasn’t dismissive enough when som guy flirted with her.  This ain’t high school.  Commitments are commitments.  Honor them as best as you can.  Not just until you get a little bent out of shape.

Love Make’s you do stupid Shit..and Marriage is the height of Love!–When Jerry said this, I have to admit that I spit my drink up!  For one, because being a Louisiana native I knew immediately that this cat was from New Orleans and his accent is crazy, but the look on his face as he said it was priceless.  Like he just dropped a complete jewel on these You Tube parishioners who have gathered at the House of Jerry!  But upon watching again I realized that Jerry sort of contradicted himself.  He started the video saying that being committed to you is no different from being married.  “I can’t love you any more by being married”.  But then he says marriage is the height of love.  And I could be misinterpreting what he said but it sounded to me like he acknowledged that there is another level of love and commitment.  The idea that love makes you do stupid shit is right on point for single people.  Because love will make you do something for someone else other than yourself.  It will make you give your last to the one you love.  It will make you suffer for them to be safe and secure.  It will make you go without so they can have.  It will make all of your selfishness go away and devote yourself to being a protector and provider for whomever you love.  Be that your mother, your children or your spouse.  So I assume Jerry being a single guy hasn’t really gotten to the point where he realizes that giving all of yourself to someone else is not the craziest thing in the world.  But I still feel him though.

Kids become a product of your love. At some point, most people who love each other on this planet aspire to have children.  And when you are a parent you have an etched in stone responsibility to the life that you bring into this world.  Marriage is a structure that is by design meant to create an optimum atmosphere for the safety and upbringing of your children.  Loving, chastising, disciplining, praising and getting to know your kids from across town, across state or across the world is cool for people who are forced into those situations but I want to be completely blunt when I say this.  That is the absolute very least that you can do for your kids.  And if you are comfortable doing the very least then you will get the very least level of respect from me and a skewed sense of family, responsibility and what a father is from your kids.  I get tired of hearing about the “I’m so proud of my momma cause she was my daddy too” speeches from people because the fact of the matter is that for every situation like that which reaches whatever level of success you subscribe too, there are countless other kids who have been failed by a father who just bailed on his committment to his mother, who in most situations was never his wife.  Marriage isn’t perfect  but it damn sure does a better job at stabilizing this I Never had a Dad that’s why I flunked out of school and got wild in the streets epidemic.  Take it from a man who has sat in countless parent-teacher conferences and seen the dysfunction that an absent parent, namely dad’s, can present.

I really like Jerry Lavigne Jr.  Because if nothing else he is thoughtful.  He didn’t just come to these conclusions based on nothing.  He evaluated the world that he sees around him and came up with his own assessment.  And whether or not you entirely agree with him, his comments should not be dismissed the way some of the comments that came through on the NecoleBitchtie’s thread seemed hell-bent on doing.  A whole lot of Nobody wants your bitter, ugly ass anyway types of comments.  You just mad cause you are single.  Some woman must have broken your heart. That is surface commentary.  Give his points some thought.

I think that Jerry represents the viewpoints of a lot of people who believe that marriage is just some BS reason to spend a lot fo money on some piece of paper that tells a woman that a man isn’t going anywhere.  And with the rise of divorce, adultery and children out-of-wedlock, the whole thing just seems stupid.  All valid points.  But Jerry seems like a man with strong convictions and I would hope that a man like that would see that the new image that the country and Hollywood have promoted of marriage today is a selfishly framed, self-indulgent over run with a sense of decadence sort of institution that is being stripped of the values that have made it last through the test of time.  Look at marriage for what it was meant to be and stick to that.  Don’t let the worst of what it has become frame your opinion as to what it really is.

@jacksonbracey

Jackson.Bracey@gmail.com

Advertisements