Now don’t be misled by the title.  DC is a great place to be a single man.  A multitude of beautiful and professional women.  Great career opportunities.  All the major sports franchises….even though the big 3 all suck.  Huge tourist town that attracts all the professional conferences that are crawling with even more women to flood the city.  All in all, this place for a lot of reasons can be considered paradise.  But like anything else when you get spoiled by the decadence you start to see flaws within it.  And for a guys, DC has a few holes that are enough to bug the hell out of me every now and again.

1.  Hollywood Comes to DC! The showiness of the city has gotten out of control.  Over the last 5-7 years DC has gone off the charts in terms of extra flash and showiness.  It’s really starting to feel more like LA or Miami.  As far back as when I was in college DC has always been a very trendy and stylish place.  Their has always been a uniqueness that surrounded the women of the place.  Mainly because all the women here were so respectable and professional.  Class and grace was the norm.  Now if you stand outside of a local night-spot and look at the line, instead of class and grace you see shock and awe….  As in Awww Hell Naw! When all I see is shiny titties in the line at the club it is a little tough for me to envision you as a PhD candidate at American University.    But truthfully, all guys like to see a nice set of shiny boobies or a round Butt that is just popping out of a tight skirt.  But when you venture away from the club scene and it starts to dominate what you see at even the more low-key spots, it gets to be a little too much.

2.  In DC, 6 degrees of Separation seem more like 2 degrees! Now even though this does not really affect me too much because I am not really an On the Scene type of fixture in DC, I hear a lot of guys complain that it is difficult to date a woman and move on after her because the social circle for women seems to be so connected.  This is understandable considering that College Alumni Associations, Civic Groups and Professional organizations are huge in the District.  It is very easy to see how people can be closely connected to one another in such a socially active community.  But my response to guys is always, Doesn’t the same thing apply to all the guys knowing each other? And most of them will say NO.  Guys in DC don’t seem to be as connected with each other the way women are. They are not really branching out from their core group of friends the same as women.  I guess they are too busy meeting new women I suppose!  But the bottom line is that it can be hard to date someone after a bad break-up when half of the women who fit into a mans demographic of interest know your ex-girlfriend.  (doesn’t it just suck to be a man?)

3.  Every single man with no kids over 25 is not gay! Anyone who has lived in DC can attest to the fact that the gay community here is very….noticeable.  But the paranoia built in women’s mind by the gay population that is not as outwardly noticeable is what causes tension for single guys like me.  If a woman asks a man once, I have no problem with that.  I have come to understand that such a question is prudent for women who are trying to protect themselves from being some guys BEARD.(can’t believe I just learned that term this year.) But to give me the side eye when my socks match my pants, when I wear a pocket square to work, when I decide to go to see a play at the Kennedy Center instead of the sorry-ass Wizards or when you see me having a conversation with someone who is indeed gay…’s pretty offensive to a straight guy.  If we wear some shorts and a t-shirt ladies frown up at us but, if we take time to dress-up to meet your standards we instantly become “suspect” We feel like…Damn!  Do I need to not cut my hair, wear mismatch clothes and walk around my house farting in your face to prove my manhood? I know it’s an important issue but try to let go of your paranoia just a little bit…..or at least hide it a little better.

4.  Guilty until proven innocent….better yet…your ass is just always gonna be guilty. This is probably much more of a big city thing more so that just a DC thing.  Studies show that men and women in major metropolitan areas are more likely to cheat and indulge in situations that typically lead to divorce.  Thusly the divorce rate is going to be much higher in DC than it would be in Opelousas, La.  But for men, we are automatically viewed as the main perpetrators of infidelity.  We are all dogs, we are all cheaters, we cannot control ourselves and we are not to be trusted. And I get why women feel that way to a certain degree.  I know a lot of women who claim to have been cheated on and have been hurt deeply by the experience.  The thing that puzzles me about these women is that I know for a fact that a lot of them have been a part of a cheating scenario themselves in a role besides victim.  So why are they so flabbergasted when the same thing happens to them?

I think that people should all be very cautious when they embark on new relationships, not knowing the true character of the person they are dating.  But we have to remember that at some point you have to assess each future situation with a clean slate and not let the disappointment of your past rule your future.

I gotta say that even while these are all sincere points of contention for being a single guy in DC, to say that it sucks to live here and be single is really reaching.  This city has soooo much to offer in so many ways and for the most part the women are on the plus side of that.  They can be a little high-strung…a little high-maintenance….A little spoiled even.  But guys in the District are for the most part sitting on a gold mine.  A bevy of beautiful women that can compete with all of your over-hyped traditional destinations of beauty around the country like NY, LA or Miami.  DC women just have………Class.  The kind of class that is bread through the culture of education, professionalism and politics that flows though the heart beat of the city.  So much class that people can’t really get into the real Housewives of DC because they are not trashy trolls like the women of NY, NJ and Atl.  (Yeah I said it!  You all know you don’t watch that stuff because you like how dignified those Jersey women are!) Now if we could just get the Redskins, Wizards and Nationals to all having winning seasons this place would be a single man’s Utopia.