Men lie, cheat, disrespect you and then expect to come around whenever they feel like it.  Not to mention that they are all on the down-low, uneducated or in jail.  Did I mention the baby-momma drama?  Finding a good man is like finding a four-leaf clover.  There might be one out there, but he’s too busy hiding while he is surrounded by his options.

Women ain’t shit!  They talk to much about their business and yours with their friends.  They nag, complain and make mountains out of mole hills so much that a man can’t find and peace.  No matter how much you do for them it ain’t never enough.  Not to mention the fact that half of them are hoes who just want to attach themselves to a man who is about something after they have been smutted out by all the other guys.  Did I mention that half of those angry as heifers have the nastiest attitudes?

While it may not be the norm in your circle of friends to hear people say things like this, it is not foreign to the ears of any adult to have heard some of these surface criticisms of people of the opposite sex.  Some of it steeped in a small measure of truth.  Some of it, generalized commentary as a representation of the masses even though it only represents 2 particular people who you have dated.  Some of it just flat-out foolishness that just seems to roll down hill with the rest of the bullshit that you are talking.  But nonetheless it exists.  And it is pretty ugly.  People seem to take sides upon the lines of gender in the same way people do with race.  And when I was younger I never really noticed this type of stuff so much.  But as I have gotten older that commentary has become louder because single people get older and look for someone to blame.

As a man, and more specifically a black man, I certainly know the shortcomings that are attached to us.  I think they are at times very true and based on the realities of the world.  I also think that some of the criticisms are so ridiculously short-sighted and filled with a despicable tone that makes me think that people are more concerned with explaining their own single existence rather than correcting  behaviors.  And that is where the disconnect starts.  And single women are facing the same thing.  Telling them that they all have nasty attitudes and that they don’t know how to treat a man is not going to elicit any sort of response that is going to make anybodies situation better.  And that should really be the point.  Complaining and talking smack just for the purpose of hearing yourself talk is WACK.  When you are a single person I would assume that you want to be with another available, compatible single.  So talking badly about them and making the worst of what some people can represent, into your own personal reality is a recipe for long-lasting loneliness. Because as long as you walk around with the mindset that women have bad attitudes, then you will never be able to recognize the woman with the great attitude.  (this seems like such an elementary concept to me.  And while I consider myself bright, I’m no genius……does that make all these jerks with gender biased preconceived notions a pack of simpletons?)

But facing this reality is only half of the problem.  The criticism that is levied across gender lines certainly takes an awful tone at times.  To that, we can all agree.  As a matter of fact if your criticism of the opposite sex is rattled off as a way to explain why you are single, I challenge you to do one very important thing.  Instead of pointing the finger, as the entire cause of you single existence, how bout you take a look in the mirror.  If you have 101 reasons for why men aren’t on your level and cannot handle the fabulous woman who you are, just stop and think about the possibility that maybe you are not quite as fabulous as you think you are.  Guys, maybe you are not the studly, cool, ladies man who any woman should want to be with.  Maybe you’re just a cocky prick with and over inflated opinion of yourself who doesn’t know how to treat a woman.

Single people seem to have no problem pointing the finger at others but they conveniently get arthritis when it is time to point the finger at themselves.  And we seem to have this insanely self-centered opinion of ourselves that makes us unwilling to take any measure of criticism from someone from another gender.  And honestly, for a straight man like myself, I find it more beneficial to have a woman point out my shortcomings than to have one of my boys blow up my ego.  But this is the point where we go back to the vitriol filled jargon that makes us tune out the constructiveness of the criticism and turn into attack mode.  Men ain’t worth a damn because (fill in any myriad of explanations here)Women are single because (fill in blank with any other shallow cliché’ here).  If we can’t be caring enough to be constructive with our criticism or adult enough to accept some criticism, no matter how it is presented then who do we have but ourselves to blame for the grand canyon that continues to grow larger and larger between us?

@JacksonBracey

Jackson.Bracey@gmail.com

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