Looking Over Cooked— Over Cooked is a term that I have used throughout the years to describe a woman who has on way too much make-up, is dressed over the top for the occasion or just generally is doing too much.  Like I have said many times before, guys can appreciate Glamour only in small doses.  There is no greater level of appreciation that you will receive from a guy than when he admires you at your purest form.  So know that when you walk out the house looking like you just got up from the seat at the MAC counter that no guy will like you anymore because of it.  That shit is all for you boo!

 

I like my women strong….not tough—There seems to be some sort of misnomer going around that men can’t handle strong women.  Let me set the record straight here.  Strong we can handle.  Determined, focused, self-aware enough to not be totally overwhelmed by your emotions…guys appreciate and respect.  But tough girls who unconsciously take on masculine aggressive tendencies are annoying.  For example, don’t argue with the host at the restaurant because our table is not ready.  Speak your peace and move on.  If a man should by some chance get out of line with you, let your male companion step into that fight.  It is not attractive to watch you “go off” or “set him straight”.  Guys have such a huge problem with women who act this way because it throws us into a weird space.  Women sometimes don’t realize that when they get pushy or abrasive or aggressive with a guy that puts us in a space where we do not really know how to comfortably defend ourselves.  If a guy crowds my space, insults me by getting loud or cuts me off, I feel totally comfortable getting in his face and getting equally aggressive because I am prepared to take it to the next level as a matter of establishing my respect.  I can’t do that with a woman.  I don’t carry those sort of Chris Brown tendencies.  So most guys instead of taking it “there” we would just rather not even continue down that road.  Don’t miss understand.  I could never be with a woman who does not challenge me or acts a pushover for all my desires.  But when you challenge me or correct me let it be with the purpose of making me better.  Not to show me how tough you are.

Women who crave attention—  There is nothing wrong with showing a woman attention.  It makes her feel important and comfortable around a man.  People appreciate compliments and knowing that someone is into them.  But the craving for such praise and adulation all the time is a scary thing.  And we all have dated or been friends with a girl who is an over the top attention seeker.  You know the girl who gets all bent out of shape when another woman walks into the room and takes away a little bit of her attention.  The woman who will dress extra sexy to make sure that she stands out amongst her girlfriends at every occasion.  The woman who starts to get extra freaky on the dance floor as she tries to refocus all eyes on her when another attractive woman takes to the dance floor.  Every guy who has dated a woman like this has had that “What the Hell are you Doing” moment with this woman out in public.  With my own experience, women who crave attention that much are some of the main ones that find themselves in compromising positions with other men.  And guys can smell a woman who is ripe for the picking.  It’s like a shark after blood.  Men will prey on a woman who is craving attention because he can see her being susceptible to his advances as long as he keeps feeding her ego.  Now of course most of these women feel like, the guy that she allows to act flirty with her at work will never get anywhere and that she just allows him top shower her with explicit compliments because it is a harmless way to help pass the day.  And she very well could be right.  But it is the idea that she seems to somehow get off on the praise that is bothersome.  And that she would not allow this man to speak to her this way in front of her own boyfriend that makes it a sort of tawdry, clandestine act between her and her secret suitor.  And in my mind once that door is open………whether you intend for it to be or not, guys see that as an invitation.

Man Hands—Sex is huge in relationships but before you get to the sex most people have layers.  Now those layer become thinner and thinner the older you become as we all know, but they are still there.  And one of the things that women have that make men feel sensual is a soft caress and gentle touch.  I have always been really turned on or at the very least relaxed by the soft and gentle caress of a woman.  The way she holds your hand when she wants to tell you something.  The way she holds a man’s face when she kisses him.  This comforts a man to have that softness to balance of his rough edges.  Can you imagine how mortifying it is for a man to have a woman with massive, powerful, rough, construction worker hands touching on his face? Grabbing on his shoulder?  Or better yet patting him on his ass?  Instead of what could be a shared moment of intimate love and affection, it turns into a real-life episode of MSNBC Lock-Up! No guy wants to close his eyes and feel a woman’s construction worker hands all over his body!  Here’s a tip.  Moisturize, Moisturize, Moisturize.  As a matter of fact, lather up with some Vaseline and wear a pair of gloves.  Do something.  Because when the lights go off and I cannot see your face and frame, I am relying on your soft touch to keep me focused.

Potty Mouths—Men rarely admit to this because they sometimes don’t acknowledge it to themselves, but they are subconsciously evaluating women that they date against the level of prim and proper behavior that they have had exhibited to them from their mothers.  And unless his mother is Mo’Nique it is quite a put off to have a woman cuss like a sailor.  As a matter of fact, I don’t even know too many guys that even like Mo’Nique’s stand-up routine at all.  And while I think she is only borderline funny, I do acknowledge that a part of is that she curses in such an aggressive and profuse way.  That just doesn’t resonate with most guys as being “ladylike”.  I am not a total uptight prude though.  I don’t mind, as well as most guys don’t, hearing a woman let out an expletive or two from time to time when expressing herself.  But the overuse just always seems to leave a bad taste.  If having a conversation feels eerily similar to talking to a bunch a guys sitting in a locker-room debating over whether or not they would rather knock down Beyoncé or Alicia Keys……then you might be rubbing a guy the wrong way with your word choice.

 

@jacksonbracey

Jackson.Bracey@gmail.com

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