I am somewhat of an old-fashioned guy.  Very much in the mold of who my father and grandfather have always been.  Men who do not mind taking on the responsibility of wearing a lot of different hats.  I don’t mind being a provider or  protector.  It is totally in my job description to be a friend and a supporter.  A partner with unconditional love who is committed to exhibiting as much patience and understand as a heart can bear in the effort to maintain calm and cohesion in a relationship.  But the one thing that I don’t think I will ever sign up for is being the generator of a woman’s personal happiness and contentment.

I don’t even believe that I know how to do that.  I am not sure that it is truly even possible.  The idea that I have to come up with ways to make a woman happy…….FOREVER……is absolutely frightening.  I think that every guy has tried to do things to make a woman happy.  Taken her out to eat….bought something that she might like….or even made a complete fool of himself because it amused her.  And this is cool stuff to do.  But these are things that generally just cheer a woman up.  Temporary pick me ups after a stressful period of time that can help to pull your lady out of her funk.  However, what I am talking about is trying to figure out a way to make someone genuinely happy.  This is something that I will not sign up for.  I cannot be responsible for your personal fulfillment, the validation of your self-worth or the generator of all worldly desires that will make you superior to all others that you come in contact with.  I just can’t.  And being the closest person to you, I am not going to be willing to be a never-ending reservoir for your bad feelings.  Your unhappiness that turns in to short temperaments.  Immature pouting.  And a less than pleasant disposition that makes me uncertain to how you will feel on a day-to-day basis.  I just cannot do it.  It’s sort of like being with that fat, 33-year-old guy who was a star in High school and peaked out in popularity and ambition at 18.  No matter what you do to console or support him he carries around this bitterness as he sees all of the people that he use to be so much more accomplished than, pass him by.  Who wants to be with some negative attitude, washed up, continuously depressed guy who you have to walk around on egg shells to appease?

The unfortunate thing is that most of the people who behave this way are folks who don’t even recognize it about themselves.  People who always have some sort of pious or miniscule criticisms of someone else.  If you are unable to control yourself from being critical of things that really aren’t that important then you are probably the asshole of whom I speak.  The idea that you are so bothered by lent that you have to go on for 30 minutes about how irresponsible it is of someone to not carry a lent brush really speaks to you being a difficult person to get along with more than it does someone else being irresponsible.  If a man makes anything more than a joking comment about a woman not having her toes done then he’s a prick.  The fact that toenail polish is important enough to send him into a tirade is indicative of something that is wrong with him…not her.  If you cannot control yourself from blowing up and always wearing the tight face expression on a daily basis then you need to take a good hard look at YOU!  Look at why YOU are always getting mad.  Why it is always someone else’s fault for YOUR displeasure.  And why YOU find each and everything to be so unbearably annoying. 

It is never someone else’s job to dictate your happiness.  Take a step back and try to figure out if you can get to the root of your constant displeasure and stop tormenting the person who probably cares for you the most.  Just think about it.  If a woman can love me when I am at my worst then that is real love.  But love under those circumstances has limits.  Limits that are reached by you driving her into a state of stress and depression.  Limits that you should not push towards…..or even peek over at, for that matter.  Constantly pushing the limits of someone’s love and patience is a dangerous game to play.  A game that more times than not, has no winners.

 

@jacksonbracey

jackson.bracey@gmail.com

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