As evolved creatures on this planet we consider ourselves to be beyond the animalistic behavior of the lower life forms. Much too sophisticated to compare ourselves to the quadrapeds that we keep in our back yards. But in actuality there are some very salient similarities. We all feel the natural urges at some point to pro-create and we all feel the natural urge to pursue multiple partners. How is that any different from the lion or lioness in the wild? Now obviously this is not to say that we should abandon the more sophisticated standard of living that society presents. Our sophistication is based not on the idea that we do not have basic animalistic urges but more so that that greater good is served in maintianing order in our society by not constantly giving into them. I think we have all heard that very cynical argument to support the idea that marriage is outdated and against our nature. But I am asking the question, are we hampered by some of our natural and animalistic urges that handicap us at times in the dating world?
I often tell women to not put the idea of having children in front of finding a companion because without having that true companionship, rearing children is an arduous taks to say the least. But that is easy for me to say and difficult for many women to do. It is unfair for me to be in no way understanding of women who have children before marriage becuase there is something extremely instinctual about giving birth to children for many women. Now that urge my come at different times for different women but at some point it usually comes. And guys generally get thrown off by women who make that instinct public knowledge. I hear guys comment all the time about the woman they are dating not having any aspirations outside of being a mother. And my response to them is, “So what’s the problem? What do you expect?”. For many women, she will do nothing greater in her life than bring another life into this world. That is a natural desire. And that is not to say that her job isn’t important or that her academic accomplishments aren’t important but the notion that is held by men and some women in our world that being a mother is not that monumental of an accomplishment is a testament to how much we try to fight nature as it suits the personal druthers of some. But as we all know, a sincere expression of this urge is not widely accepted in the dating world by men. Not that they do not have that desire as well at some time in their life. It is just that on average it tends to come at a much later time in a man’s life.
In nature it is the over expression of the male species masculinity that he uses to impress the female sex. Showing his physical dominance over the competing males is what seemingly is required of him to appeal to the fairer sex. And we see this sort of dynamic all of the time in society. Young men fighting and projecting themselves as tough, domineering, and capable of being a physical protector works as a turn on for a lot of women. I once heard a women comment on the boxer Floyd Mayweather in a way that I found fascinating and hilarious enough to make me spit out my drink at the same time. She said,” Oooohhh…there is something about seeing him dominate and beat up the other boxer that really does it for me”. (It is even more hilarious to mention that she was borderline fondling her breasts while she said that) We commonly make a mochery of such behavior but in many ways that sort of reaction is a common part of nature. For a woman to feel drawn to a physically dominant man who appears to be a protector. The problem is that typically the guy who can fight and intimidate other guys physically usually is not the guy who can hold a productive job because of his confrontational demenaor. He usually is not the type of guy who is compassionate enough to be the supporter that a woman needs from someone who will view her as an equal. And the fact that he can fight really well serves him as an asset more so in prison than it does in society.
But so many of us exemplify these sorts of natural characteristics. Especially when we are young. Guys show off in high school because it is what we feel is that natural device that we must use to impress and capture women. Girls act smitten and ga-ga over the jocks because it is a natural attraction that occurs. Not just because they are too simple minded or weak to be by themselves. But all these things that we do naturally just do not fit in our evolved society. We have evolved beyond nature on many levels. And perhaps we should. We should strive to evolve beyond the idea that as a species, we should react sexually whenever we are aroused. We should strive to evolve beyond the desire to react aggressively whenever someone impeeds our precieved territory. But for those of us who are simply acting on some of our natural factors, are we crippling ourselves in the dating world by dealing with a society of people who have managed to successfully supress their own natural pulls?
What do believe are some ways in which nature is not on our side in the Dating World?