Let’s be clear. Infidelity is not a man problem or a woman problem. It is a human problem. And one that we seem to emphasize because it so closely ties to matters of the heart. But infidelity is not only an immoral act of lust that drives someone to do something inappropriate. It is about selfishness. Selfishness that makes people put their own personal desires in front of others. And everyone in the world is capable of being selfish. Thusly, no one is immune to feelings of infidelity. The question is, how many of us can manage to refrain from acting on our selfishness. Chances are if you date someone who is greedy, self-serving or generally unyielding about getting their way, they are showing all of the signs of being a possible cheater.
But there is another dynamic that I find fascinating about people who are cheaters and the people who generally don’t classify themselves as such. If I am a married man who engages in inappropriate actions with a woman at my job then I am a cheater. And I am despicable and awful and should be shunned from all of humanity. I get that. We all get that part. But in order to stamp out the pervasive behavior of selfish people, or at least curb this sort of behavior, we have to start acknowledging that the other person has to be called out for this type of bullshit as well. I know a guy who has made it a weird sort of habit to be the “other guy” when it comes to dating women who are attached. And this fool has the nerve to comment about how scandalous the women that he fools around with are. In his small mind, because he is not in a relationship with a woman that he has a committment with, he is not committing any wrong! Am I wrong in considering him to be a contributor in the corruption of someone else’s relationship? I never thought this was up for debate but it seems that many other people disagree with my sentiment. What do you think? Is it only cheating when you are in a committed relationship?