You would be surprised at how many guys are truly lacking in the department of gentlemanly behavior. I think the true essence of being a gentleman has been lost in the idea that “chivalry is dead” in modern society. And despite the condescending sarcasm that gentlemanly behavior might evoke from some of our more independent ladies, remember fellas to stick with it and know that eventually your strong sense of chivalry will not forever go unnoticed. Ultimately it will stand out as a bragging point for your lady to rub her friends noses in and make you that guy that all her girlfriends hold up as a model for how they want their boyfriends to act.
1. Hold the door open. At work. At home. At the mall. Everywhere. Anywhere there is a woman who is approaching the door that you are standing near, just hold the damn door. It is really a shame that you have to say this and reinforce it with people. This is the first thing I picked up as a standard of behavior when dealing with women. And even though she may not always say thank you, it is better that you continue to do it and give her a hint about your effort than to stop doing it all together.
2. Walk on the outside of the curb so that you are closer to the street. Now I don’t really want you to jump out and dive in front of a car for your lady. How many times have you ever heard of a tragic accident where some car jumps the curb and kills the guy closest to the street but saves the helpless woman next to him? Never. But the gesture is something that is emblematic of a guy’s commitment to being a protector. Women appreciate being with a guy who makes an effort to protect them or make them feel safe.
3. Step back and let the lady off the elevator first. Ever heard the term lady’s first? Then act like you know what the hell that means and let her off the damn elevator. It is just a small gesture that shows that you are actually paying attention to her. Not walking off and losing contact with a woman to the point that people do not even recognize that you are together.
4. Say the right things….or Don’t. Take a moment to think before you speak. Understand that you have to know when to give support, when to give guidance, and when to just shut the hell up and look concerned. Just because you feel like you know everything, doesn’t mean she needs to always hear your answers to all her problems when she feels like talking about her day.
5. Step up and accept the labor. Don’t be afraid to step up and take on the physical labor that will lighten a womans load. You look really stupid walking next to a woman carrying a suitcase when you have nothing in your hands. In just about all situations, you are going to be a little bit more well equipped to do physically taxing things. Not to say that a woman cannot carry her own groceries in from the car, but just share the load. If she took the time to go and get the stuff, don’t make her carry the stuff inside too.
6. Take the wheel. Now this one can be a little touchy. Driving for a lot of men and women is about control. Being in charge. And if that is your ladies deal, then work that out delicately with her. But having spent a lot of time behind the wheel of a car (how many people do you know that have driven cross-country in 3 days?) I know how draining and tiring a days worth of driving can be. Whether you are taking the trip upstate to see family or just spending the day together going all over town to run errands, make sure that you drive. Sometimes women have a hard time appreciating this laborious gesture. A good way to snap her back to reality is to ask her to drive you someplace. Someplace at least a few hours away and notice how perplexed she is at the very notion that you would even ask her to do that. She won’t put two and two together initially that you never hesitate to take the wheel when she wants to go somewhere. So at that point, no need to rub it in but a gentle reminder that you are always glad to drive her around when the two of you are together should help. If he is a thoughtful woman she will at the least be a bit more appreciative moving forward. If not……..then just start playing sick whenever she wants you to go someplace with her.
7. Don’t hide your date! It is not uncommon to be out on a date and see people who you know. We are all social people. We all have lives. And it is always important to greet people with sincerity when you see them out and about. But when you are on a date there are two essential things that you must remember. 1) Don’t get so sidetracked with idle conversation with random people who you see, that you forget that you are not alone. 2) Always introduce your beautiful companion in a direct and upfront way. Gently guide from your side to your immediate front and introduce her as your friend or date, or whatever she is to you. (please don’t downplay your lady from girlfriend to friend in fron of other people. You aer just asking for trouble.) Never neglect to introduce her and never introduce her in a cavalier sort of way. It gives the impression that she doesn’t mean much to you. Not cool!
8. Keep your appointments! I really think it is important to do what you say you are going to do. At least to the best of your abilities. Things come up and stuff happens. But it puts a woman in a really weird space when you cancel on her. Especially when you cancel on her in an untimely manner. Like less that 8 hours before you are scheduled to go out. Be aware that getting prepared for a date can be a big event for a woman. If she is excited about going out with you then there is a good chance that she has not only gone through a certain level of personal preparation, but she has told her friends. And nothing is as mortifying for a lady than to have to explain to her friends why she has been stood up by you, for a date. Don’t make her have to do that. Now if by chance something tragic happens and you absolutely cannot make your appointment with her, be prepared to immediately reschedule right then and there. If you are not, she feels played. You look like an asshole saying that we will shoot for later this week. And on top of that you are so out of touch with her displeasure that you don’t realize that your cancellation call may be the last time you get the pleasant version of her on the phone.
In order to make this sort of behavior stick, ladies have to certainly show their appreciation for these things. But gentleman have to be steadfast even when appreciation is not always shown. I open doors for ladies because I feel like it is the right things for me to do. But the ladies in my office building certainly can piss me off by never saying thank you! What are some other examples of gentlemanly behavior that you are a must?