What is it about an ex that serves as motivation for someone when you are working out? People are so shallow that we always drum up some strange sense of motivation that comes from having someone see you looking good. It kind of makes you feel like there was nothing really connecting you to someone besides the way that you look. Now of course that is not the case. But what do we think is going to happen? That if you see someone who you used to date that they are going to be only connected to you in a physical way when they see you? Of course not. You don’t miss someone exclusively by the way that they look. If that were the case you could just dig up some photos or old videos to get you through the lonely patches of a break up. And for those of you who have tried that, you know it is pretty disappointing. We feel much more connected and fulfilled through phone calls and email and the intimate connection that communication brings. But why the hell do people insist on using an ex for workout motivation?

I don’t have a bad relationship with my ex. I actually have a stalker sort of relationship with her. And before I totally throw away any level of cool or respectability that I have built up on this blog, let me clarify what I mean by “stalker”. Of course I check her Facebook page. Of course I glance across her twitter from time to time. And I keep tabs with a friend who has seen her out a few times as well. The same normal stuff that this information technology age has made it impossible for us to avoid. And for the record I would bet anyone $1000 bucks that she does the same thing to me. She is what I consider to be a legit friend even though we do not speak. And when you are legitimately someone’s friend, how you look is not at the top of what makes a relationship go. Now obviously we are not about to gain 80lbs a piece. Because I don’t think that I am alone in saying that she would be totally disgusted by my appearance if I did. But I can say that me getting super ripped is not going to have much of an effect on her or make her feelings for me suddenly increase.  Or decrease for that matter. And I am not nearly lame enough to suddenly send her a photo of my six-pack. (maybe a carefully shot Facebook pic) So how would she ever truly know about my new physique?  But I stay using her for some sort of weird motivation for me to push through when I do not feel like working out.

Top Reasons to use your Ex for Motivation In the Gym

1. Someone dogged you out for not being good enough. No one wants to think that they were undervalued or under appreciated. And thinking about the asshole who commented on your belly sticking out when you are in the gym can be a good source of internal rage to help you push through those last few crunches.

2. He/She dumped you for someone that is much more fit than you. Now I am not a big advocate for inflated egos (even though I have one), but I do believe that it is good to maintain a healthy self-image. And the better you look the better you feel. Nothing can be worse than someone leaving you for someone who you feel is better looking than you, and that fact being the major factor in your significant others decision to upgrade. Now I would not go get juiced up on steroids to look like some muscle head who my EX left me for but I would damn sure get my hard body, Shaun T(hip-hop abs), P90x on for a while to let her know what all this looks like when I am in shape! (That is actually pretty pathetic as I type it out………)  we can’t help but feel motivated by our insecurities at times.  It’s either that or slit our wrists.

3.  You clearly want to get back together with your ex!  Now this is the pretty straight forward assumption of most people when you keep a pin-up of your ex in the mirror that you stare at blankly for 10 minutes before you break into jumping jacks to warm up for that 5 mile run.  Now circumstance and geography do not make this my reality but I think that it is a very strong motivator for a lot of people.  We always have this thought in our minds that we want someone to see us looking the best that we possibly can so that they can have this feeling of regret that they can touch and feel all over this sexy body!  But realistically that is a sensation that only lasts a quick minute. After a few hours of admiring someones frame and reminiscing about old times, we usually do something or say something that completely reminds someone of why the two of you are no longer together.  So in essence, getting extra hunky or fit is not going to make someone want to get back with you.  It might urge them to get with you in the temporary sense, but nothing remotely close to wanting to rekindle that flamed out love. 

Maybe instead of drowning out our hurt feelings into the gym, we should consider attacking the more glaring deficiencies in our personality.  Thinking critically about our flaws and less about our waist line as it pertains to making ourselves more attractive to not only an Ex, but to people in general.  A woman is not going to leave a guy because he gained 10 lbs.  And despite what women may feel about a guys propensity to notice the physical a man generally won’t leave woman for that either.  But people will leave you for constantly being in a foul mood.  For being the type of person that can never be satisfied or happy with things.  For being some sort of super control freak that wallows in his/her own insecurities and expects a partner to be in line step for step with their misery.  Attack the real problems that can be our stepping-stones for self-improvement.  That will carry us much farther than a temporary moment of making an Ex remorseful for moving on.  Who knows…..  It might just carry you into a longer lasting relationship the next go around.

 

@jacksonbracey

jackson.bracey@gmail.com

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