A bunch of kids with entirely too much money.  And the news seems to be infatuated with it.  None of us are immune to trashy gossip and tabloid stories.  And as much as I hate the depictions, the negativity and the overall mass infatuation with people who care nothing about all these consumers, even I found myself reading stories about some fight between Chris Brown and Drake.  And then all of this mass speculation that tied the young starlet Rihanna to the very crux of the dispute.  And the more it played out with different accounts from reputable and non-reputable news outlets, the more confusing the whole thing became.  But I cannot help but think that sensationalism of the players and the events that unfolded, have been portrayed in a way that are not only unsubstantiated but likely fraudulent. 

This whole thing truly could be about Rihanna…….but I doubt it!

I remember being 21-22 years old.  hanging out in  nightclubs.  Always rolling no less than 4 deep in a “crew”.  Riding around with that friend who had the best car.  Spending money on clothes to be the “freshest” guy in the place.  Setting barber shop appointments for 5pm on Friday so my hair cut would be “ultra fresh” for the weekend.  And making sure that I walked tall through the club with my shoulders and arms as rigid as I could stand to make sure that I was a statue walking though that other men had to move for.  You know…… young, dumb and stupid stuff.  All with two desires in mind.  #1.  To make myself most attractive to as many women as possible.  And #2.  To be that much better than all the other guys. 

Now when I was 22 I thought the world of myself.  I just knew I could dress and I knew I was handsome and I knew I was this and I knew I was that!  But I cannot imagine how much more I would have been emboldened if I had something other than my own ego to fill me head.  I didn’t have millions of dollars to feed that monster.  I didn’t have women throwing themselves at me during packed house concerts and waiting for me outside of hotel rooms on a nightly basis.  And even without those things I was still pretty prone to do some juvenile things brought on by my ego and lack of maturity.  My point is that when you are that age and surrounded by so much praise and adulation and hanger-ons who dangle on every word you say, it doesn’t take much to set you off on some power trip moment that can lead to night-club brawls.

No doubt that a woman’s love or to an equal degree the conquest or conquering of a woman is certainly a huge deal.  Something that many, many men have fought wars over.  And according to some of the things floating around out there, a very offensive comment was made about what one man was doing to another man’s love interest.  But I want to be clear that I use this word love sort of loosely.  Just because a man covets a woman does not necessarily imply love.  And with the way these simple dudes evoke Rihanna’s name in salacious and less than flattering manners, I would totally erase LOVE from the equation.  (as a sidenote I think it is a real sucka move to ever evoke a woman’s name in your music to expose what you have done with her privately.  Like King of Sucka moves!)

No Love….  I would more closely relate this battle to pride.  Prowess.  Fool hearty bravado.  When a man loves a woman he doesn’t speak ill of her in interviews and records.  He doesn’t speak of her in such blatant sexual contexts because he doesn’t want other men to see her in that way.  No….  I wouldn’t say love.  These little kids are fighting over who can out do the other.  Fighting over which one of them is waving the biggest stick in the room.  And there is not greater measure of challenging a man at that age than showing that you have outdone him or bested him by taking away a woman from him.   And in case you didn’t know there are very few things that will incite a man more than bragging about taking a woman from him.  Maybe something involving money.  Or commenting about a man’s mother.  But that is about it!  So the whole war of words and the eventual melee may have been initiated by a Rihanna comment, but it should not be misconstrued as two guys who are passionately and intimately in love with her and battling for her hand.  Not hardly.  This is two little boys who would have fought over any perceived slight.  Any subtle gesture that could have been taken as disrespect would have set this off.  Because when young guys like this are filled with this extra macho attitude that is fueled by all of their stardom, they get controlled by their ego and the thought of building or maintaining a reputation.  Not a gesture of passionate love.

Rihanna is catching way too much flack……but it’s not like she doesn’t promote herself in this space.

I am not one of those people who assumes that just because you see people together in that they are “Together”.  I think that people have other functions than just having sex.  But in Hollywood that is the common school of thought.  People sell magazines by linking people together sexually every time you can catch them in a photo-op.  And I think that is wrong.  Wrong because people are entirely too involved in other folks personal life but also wrong because it can cast and unjust image of someone that couldn’t be any farther from the truth.  Now who knows?  Maybe they are all sleeping together.  But my point is that people are just in general much more prone to believe that they are than they aren’t.  And if you are a woman, that leads you down a one way path to the Freak/Whore category.

Now let’s not get it confused.  This is not singularly some designation that guys heap upon women.  Women are more than a tad bit involved in the labelling of other women as whores.  And while I want to stand on the side that says you shouldn’t say that or even think that, I would be more prone in this case to just not say anything.  It would be different if Rihanna had a different sort of image.  But the fact that she sells her image as one of being sexy, sexually charged in her music and half-naked on more than a few occasions, it makes it difficult to stand on the righteous indignation table and defend her the same way that you would defend a singer who is not pictured partying with different men on the regular, or spotted in Hollywood drunk or with see through clothes.  And if I had to bet money on it I would personally say that I do not believe she’s “been with” half of the guys that she is linked to.  But the extra stuff makes that a hard sell in the eyes of people.  So for that she get her rep boosted as sex kitten, but not so much as a Wifey Type.  Which is what guys generally prefer when they talk about women they Love. 

I am honestly not a huge fan of Rihanna.  I obviously think she is a beautiful girl.  But even though she doesn’t have the best voice in the world but it is pretty unique to me in its tone and pitch.  And I like it.  Just something about her voice is really captivating.  But when I see her in drunk photos or see through clothes I get slightly disgusted.  Not entirely but slightly.  I kind of feel like she is selling herself out in a way that smacks of residual issues from that whole tragedy a few years ago.  But none of that matters with this.  I think that bringing up her name in this whole fiasco is doing her a disservice.  If she has been with these guys or not, she didn’t pull out the immaturity crown and start waiving it around the club like a couple of kids playing make-believe that they are kings of the castle.

You are the regular people…..  The celebs are the weirdos

Now my commentary on this whole situation is not to use it as a template for the way normal people function in relationships.  There are no cues for acceptable behavior that we can pull from this foolishness that will affect our normal lives.  In the real world, people fight but not always this frivolously.  Mainly because consequences are greater for us.  We can’t dip out on night club fights and go our separate ways.  And in the real world women don’t put up with the same sort of foolishness from men who talk about them any sort of way.  Because not only do most guys not have that sort of money that can buy a woman’s silence, but all that fame and notoriety is not involved to shape our responses as well.  I don’t nearly have enough money to go around doing songs about some woman I smutted out only to have her pose in pictures with me a couple of weeks later.  So looking at this whole thing there is one major thing that we should all take away.  They….Are not Us.  We are not them.  And the similarities are there but just on a much different scale.  We all have very human emotions with regard to our relationships but how we respond to them is what separates us from the Holly-Weird crowd.  And honestly I am not sad about that.  We may not have the same 0’s in our bank accounts but in the end money can’t by my common sense.  My dignity.  Or my sense of righteousness in terms of how I treat women, speak of women and how I react to a woman’s new boo.

What do you think about this whole thing?  Hot mess or Real life?

@jacksonbracey

Jackson.Bracey@gmail.com

Advertisements