Women put up with a lot of stuff from guys. And not because guys are foul, crude and incorrigible creatures. But more so because men and women have different values, feelings and thinking processes. So no matter how much sense something makes to one of us, it just doesn’t click with the opposite sex. And while there is always good that comes from healthy dialogue and the expression of someones feelings on the issue, there are just some things that you are not going to get people to do. But the key is to make your point clear so that you are not putting up with the blatant dismissal of your concerns.
So with that said here is a list of 4 things that guys just have to learn to put up from with women. And just hope that she does not get too carried away with the blatant obtrusiveness of the habits.
1) She is Going to Be Late! Fellas, you might as well sit down and shut up, when it comes to complaining about a lady being late. Her concept of time and promptness just doesn’t match yours. By comparison men have to do so much less than women to get ready to go someplace to begin with. Couple that with the understanding that we are not ,in general, as caught up about looks as ladies are to begin with and you have a serious issue that is more based in difference in perspective than in disrespect. You see ladies go on and on about how much they have to do from nails, make-up, hair, multiple clothes and shoe options that their perspective on timeliness is just different. Asking a woman to walk out to go someplace before she feels completely comfortable with how she looks is like asking a man to go out on a date with a woman having limited funds and hoping that she doesn’t order drinks and desert. It just feels uncomfortable. So fellas just work patiently with your lady so that she does not take advantage of your time. Don’t let her get comfortable with the idea that your uneasiness about being late to things doesn’t matter. Instead you just get used to the idea that you will sometimes have to take separate cars to some places if she cannot be on time. And as long as she is making a serious effort to get a little better, just roll with it.
2) Stop trying to rationalize her emotions. In general women are a tad bit more emotional than men…….. Scratch that. Women are a hell of a lot more emotional than men! And that point is never more evident that when a woman gets to talking about her feelings when you are trying to make salient, logical points. Any sign of a woman bringing her emotions or feelings into a disagreement means that all rationale thinking has just ended and you might as well shut up with the discussion and try to find another way to make your point. This is pretty clear to me with a lot of the women I know but none more plainly than with my mother. My mother is the master of sticking to her point when there is a point to be made. But when there is no longer a point to be made she will interject a point or feeling that is not in the line of the disagreement because her feelings will not allow her to concede the point. Now on the surface this makes women look foolish to men. But in reality a womans emotions are a complex part of who she is and it takes more than a notion to separate her from them. Even if it does make sense. If women had an easy time separating their emotions from their best interest then Mimi would have left Stevie J a long time ago! (damn I hated that I just used that despicable reference) So instead of continuing the discussion, soften your tone and your stance and approach it from a different angle. An angle that has you giving emotion back to her but still making your logical point. Don’t run from your stance but just give it to her with love.
3) She doesn’t really want to know how she looks!!! In case you didn’t know by now, very rarely does your lady want to know your opinion on how she looks…for real. Ladies like to know that they are attractive. And any little thing that you say to throw that off is only going to screw up her night and yours as a result of her displeasure. Truthfully fellas. You and I both know that most nights we feel like the women that we encounter either look like clowns, whores or grossly uncomfortable with those ridiculous shoes and outfits on. We clearly have different tastes and see beauty differently in each other. So when she your lady comes out from that bathroom after 3 hours of top-secret testing and sampling of outfits and she utters those infamous words….So, how do I look? You better think long and hard. Now I have been accused of being a liar for some of the most ridiculous things. And it is always centered around me not telling her something that I know she is going to make and unnecessary hissy fit about. Like telling her how great she looks when she looks as ridiculous as the little girl who wears a ballerina tutu with combat boots because mommy didn’t have time to argue with her about it on the way to the supermarket. But here is a good way to respond to that question. Baby….I think you are soooo hot! Notice how you don’t mention anything about her outfit, but expressed how you really feel about her. That’s not a lie! Just hope that you can slide by with that.
4) Reality television obsessions, gossip blogs and all things superficial. Now this is a really huge one. Reality television has become the new Soap Operas of today. And while I wish that I could come up with some rationale or understandable explanation as to why women obsess over stuff like this I can’t. All I can come up with is that fact that women enjoy a certain measure of drama! And as far as I am concerned I think that I would rather have a lady who likes to watch other people’s drama than to drum up her own to be involved in. Now while I have absolutely seen this stuff before I am not consumed with it the same way some of my favorite ladies are. And while I do think that it has an awful effect on the viewers on a subconscious level, I just cannot see a way to break the captivating hold that it has over women’s attention. I mean think about it….. Shows like Housewives of Atl, Basketball Wives, Young and the Restless, Bold and Beautiful, TMZ, Entertainment Tonight, NecoleBitcie.Com…..it is all directly marketed towards women and they are filled with speculative drama and share people’s private business. But instead of showing your consistent disgust for the fact that your lady participates in this foolishness, just accept the fact that maybe something inside her compelles her to watch that stuff in a way that does not affect you. And work with her on it. The key is to try to balance her spirit towards more positive things to offset the ratched, low-class behavior that she might be consuming on a subconscious level. Try to inspire her with love, encouragement and compassion in a way that makes her forget about women, hating on each other and throwing bottles for looking at another woman’s man. And with a lot of effort, sincerity and prayer maybe she will slip out of the evil clutches of Viacom programming! Because I am gonna let you know a little something. If you come home one day and you hear your lady use phrases like, “Who gon’ check me boo!” or “You ain’t about this Life!”, you are in some serious trouble chief.
What are some common thing that people need to learn to deal with in realtionships?