Top 4 Things that men need to stop complaining about

Women put up with a lot of stuff from guys.  And not because guys are foul, crude and incorrigible creatures.  But more so because men and women have different values, feelings and thinking processes.  So no matter how much sense something makes to one of us, it just doesn’t click with the opposite sex.  And while there is always good that comes from healthy dialogue and the expression of someones feelings on the issue, there are just some things that you are not going to get people to do.  But the key is to make your point clear so that you are not putting up with the blatant dismissal of your concerns.

So with that said here is a list of 4 things that guys just have to learn to put up from with women.  And just hope that she does not get too carried away with  the blatant obtrusiveness of the habits. Continue reading


Tired of being the short-time lover….Looking to be the Wifey

It can be very difficult for people to actually see themselves the way other people see them.  We build our esteem in part of the level of respect that we receive from people.  And knowing that we are respected to a high degree is important.  No one wants to be the person that is the butt of all the jokes and the perpetual whipping post to take the blame for everything.  We all want to envision ourselves that the superstar , life of the party that everyone wants to be around.  But that simply is not the case.  And more times than not people understand that about themselves.  We know our limitations and we know our strengths.  And as we grow we settle into certain positions……or we work incessantly to improve our status.  And in dating that is a very prevalent dynamic.  And one that hurts women more than it hurts men because often times we have very different goals.  And when women do not have a good sense of how men see them, they can be caught in a cycle of being “that girl”.  When they really want to be “the girl”. Continue reading

Music To My Ears…..

I am unashamedly an Omarion appreciator.   Don’t laugh.  I have never been into B2K or anything but as a solo artist he has had some really tough songs that I have run through my care stereo on repeat for a couple of weeks at a time.  And this time is no different.  Omarion, who has made the full transition to “Maybach O”  as he joins Ricky_Rozay’s MMG, hit the nail on the head with this song as he captures a real sentiment that a lot of people embody at one time or another.  That numbing period where people would rather be dismissive of the people in their face as they pine away over lost loves. 

In addition Wale’ drops a decent verse to add a little edge to the production.  Wale is the anti-Drake in a lot of ways.  He talks pretty openly about emotions and feelings but he does it in a way that resonates a little bit more with guys because he does not give the impression that he is in a studio with a box full of tissues as he pours out his heart in a way that makes him appear more vulnerable than what is typical for most men. 

Hope you like it! Sorry I couldn’t find a clean version.


A Love Triangle Gone bad or Just a Case of To Much Bravoda?

A bunch of kids with entirely too much money.  And the news seems to be infatuated with it.  None of us are immune to trashy gossip and tabloid stories.  And as much as I hate the depictions, the negativity and the overall mass infatuation with people who care nothing about all these consumers, even I found myself reading stories about some fight between Chris Brown and Drake.  And then all of this mass speculation that tied the young starlet Rihanna to the very crux of the dispute.  And the more it played out with different accounts from reputable and non-reputable news outlets, the more confusing the whole thing became.  But I cannot help but think that sensationalism of the players and the events that unfolded, have been portrayed in a way that are not only unsubstantiated but likely fraudulent.  Continue reading

Don’t Shame People Into Leaving Someone

I hate to hear about people being mistreated by someone they care about.  It is a very devastating sort of situation that really can tear at someone’s mental stability.  As a general rule I try to avoid women who have extreme trust issues.  Not really something that I want to spend the rest of my life dealing with.  But people who have these issues as a result of being mistreated or betrayed I have a great deal of sympathy for.  Everyone is not just equipped to get over things.  Some of us are blessed with this sort of, pick yourself up and dust yourself off, type of personality.  And getting over things is different for different people.  In the real world, in real relationships, sometimes things happen.  Cheating happens.  Mistrust can happen.  Disappointment happens.  And getting over it for me might be working through it while getting over it for someone else might be just simply rolling out.  But from a friend, all I should ever really hear is support, encouragement with some sprinkles of reality flakes just to keep me sane.  But I should never hear someone trying to shame me into doing what they think is right. Continue reading

Is Having Reservations the End of your relationship?

In my experience close to 50% of relationships start in a very casual sort of way.  For all of the talk of people having checklists and unreasonably high standards most people don’t acknowledge that a vast percentage of the dating pool is not really like that.  Most people don’t plan out their meals for the day, what they are going to wear in the morning until they get up or how they are going to pay some of their bills from month to month.  Essentially everyone is not some sort of anal, intense planner.  A lot of people just date whomever based on who they run into that day.  Who comes up to them.  Who they think is cute.  Who they have fun with.  And that’s it……  The drawback to that at times can be having this boulder of reality fall on you a year into what has become a serious relationship.  Having to decide if someone fits into the list of things that you just didn’t really care about too much on the front end.  And as you start to look at a couple of things that are glaring deficiencies for a serious companion that are not really relevant as a person you are dating, you start to realize……….Oh Shit……  what the hell have I been doing for the past year of my life? Continue reading

Twerking for Mothers Day….For Solidarity….For Justice… For Liberation!

Who knew that Twerking was so righteous, dignified and important to the respect of mothers and women all over the world……  Not me!  I thought it was just something that little misguided high school girls did when they got a webcam, taking a break from their arduous studies in self-affirming women’s studies.  But I must say that after watching this lady get it poppin I am so sure that Angela Davis, Susan B. Anthony and Oprah are all beaming with happiness!

Haha….  Man I can’t even do this.  I am laughing to hard as I write this to let my true sarcasm come out at it’s best.  This guy who I found on YouTube Does these hilarious videos that he refers to as Employee Evaluations.  ANd the first couple that i saw were pretty funny.  But then I got to this video and I was so floored that I had to share.  Get a good laugh to start your day!




This is what happens when you go along to get along……… SMH @ gweneth, Jay and Kanye

All of my friends know a few things about me. I try to be as fair as I can with people. I talk to my grandmother every 36-48 hours. I never want to be fat. And I hate the N-word and the promotion of it as a representation of my blackness.

Gweneth Paltrow recently kicked up a storm all over the net buy quoting a song title from a popular Jay-Z/Kanye West song with a twitpic attached. In essence commenting that she is with some “Real N*&%#s in Paris“. Now I like Gweneth. I always have. She seems really down to Earth and just a decent person. Never really thought of her as some sort of transcendent talent but I really like a few of her projects. The Iron Man movies. Royal Tenebaums is a classic movie to me. And she really showed some talent in Glee!  And I cannot forget about the Talented MR. Ripley…..  Well actualy Matt Damon is the only reason I like that movie.  Nonetheless I gotta throw a flag on the play. And when I throw the flag I have to throw it on her “Niggas” as well. Somewhere a long the line people like Jay/Kanye found it easier to try to change acceptable standards of dignity for black people, rather than explain to their new more culturally diverse friends the fine line of complexities that go along with that word. And sadly I cannot say if it is money or a desire to be accepted by others outside of their cultural upbringing that makes them gloss over the dignity of millions. So I really blame people like Jay and Kanye for situations like this on some level. But what really hurts the most is that now people like Alec Baldwin and Gweneth Paltrow are not just accepting the criticism and apologizing for the unfortunate slip up, but they are defiantly challenging my right to be offended by it. Marginalizing what I find offensive and telling me that I should be concerned about other things. Essentially not only calling me a Nigga but treating me like one as well.

Check out this link to a Yahoo Article that explains in more detail.


Friday Night Scuffles.

In this edition of Friday night scuffles we have on display the ever-growing phenomenon of chick fights.  I think on occasion women have always had a temperament that would lead them to a little scuffle every now and then.  But around 2002 maybe 03, the belligerent meter got turned all the way up!  So it is not too uncommon now a days for me to see a couple of women get it poppin on a Friday night in DC.  Nothing super heinous for the most part, but general foolishness nonetheless.  When alcohol and keeping it real go wrong is always the theme of the night.

So I am in this spot uptown that I like to frequent when it is really late and I am long overdue for a bite to eat.  This burger joint called Black and Orange Grilling Comp always serves me well, after I am leaving a party or a friend’s house or whatever.  Open til 4 AM, high quality burgers, cool space to chill before the sun comes up.  But those same things that make it super cool for me also seem to make it a haven for drunk people who are highly likely to do some dumb shit before they go home for the night. Continue reading